How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
