508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh god it's open bar.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
