i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
