im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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