things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
me + whiskey = a bad person
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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