Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
