dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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