Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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