Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
