i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
