I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
