Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
