I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
True college students do jello shots in the library
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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