the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
