haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
