we're blogging at a bar
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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