My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
