this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
