And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
