Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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