Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
