i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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