Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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