she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
