do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
