I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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