I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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