The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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