Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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