My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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