Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
