No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I understand Curling. That high.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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