another moral hangover. fuck.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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