Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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