a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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