I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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