its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
