NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
