Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
