Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
