i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
