Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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