i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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