I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
