I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
