its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
