and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
