I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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