This girl is more easily done than said...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
