I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
