Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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