i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
