im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
